"Lying"
This is a story about a girl who is trying to get out of a bad relationship, and maybe out of a dangerous lifestyle (unclear). The skeleton of a clear story is there, but I feel like there are way too many holes to fill in.
I'm not really sure where the protagonist is, a brothel maybe? I'd really like to be more grounded in the setting.
You use a lot of short, simple sentences. It makes it a little monotonous to read. I would vary your language a bit, try to create more complex sentences.
You use a lot of vague language, so I'm left confused throughout much of the story.
I have no real sense of where or when I am in this story.
"Dear ______"
This is a story in the form of a letter from a boy to his mother who he has never really known. I think that this definitely looks and feels like a letter. However, it doesn't really feel like a story. The reader is not moved along the story fluidly. There is a lot of confusing language and wordiness that impedes the reader's interest in this story.
There are some grammar issues, especially with commas.
"But a Minor Role"
This was a Western about a lawless town in Mexico, and the new, American presence there.
This story had great pacing. It really flowed well and it kept me interested. I'm not really sure you've done enough with the conversation that starts on page three. It seems to go unnecessarily slow. I just feel like the language in the dialogue could be a little cleaner.
I like the dual as an aspect of this story. It is an interesting concept that people don't really identify with anymore, so it can be very exciting. Also, the dialogue and plot that comes while waiting for the duel seems appropriate for me. From what I know on the subject, there was a lot of male posturing and stalling that went with duels. This definitely shows in this story.
The ending was very surprising, which is satisfying. The emotional response from the the Major was surprising, but understandable. I didn't think that was too out of character for him.
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